You kill those blades of grass with you every step
Running man you the definition of inept

You run up that hill
You run down with a chill
You take various run enhancing pills

With those crazy sponsors
Making you wear those labels you so fond of

Running man
Run on sand
Your health food tastes so bland

Drinking water and lifting weights
You can't help but run to far away states

Get off my TV you stupid bastard
I don't care if a two hundred million dollar rag
Can make you run faster
You bastard

Keep on running, running man
I could run as fast as you can
If only I had devoted my life to
A singular, everyday bodily functshan

Don't pretend to be funny
Don't pretend your life is worth something

You're not worth a half hour news report
All you do is run
Is running even a sport?

Running man
Unfunny man
Are you sure you're not some sort of marketing cyborg from the future?
Because unless you are, you need to be more of a boozer

If only the athletes of the world would band together
Get pissed and play games with feathers
They would all down beer bongs
Participate in events whilst wearing
Nike endorsed thongs

It shouldn't matter what athletes do
Because you're already brainwashed into thinking they're cool